Final Project: Movies & TV

Here you go, guys. Our final project.

Also, the presentation.

 

The Saint Cecilia Surprise.

Download the Saint Cecilia EP for free HERE.

Gotta love Mondays, right?!

No? Anybody?

It can’t be all bad, because we live in a world where the biggest rock band around will put out a new surprise EP just because they felt like it… for free.

That’s right, boys and girls, them Foo Fighters are back at it, and they sound like they’re having a blast.

Saint Cecilia popped up online once Dave Grohl‘s mysterious countdown hit zero. It’s a quick five song extended play, and it’s pretty damn good from what I’ve heard of it.

Off the top of my head the tracks that stick out are the title track and a the Iron Rooster, but I’m looking forward to giving this a good couple of listens and so should you. It’s available just about everywhere. So go out there and enjoy it.

Picks of the Week

I work customer service in an office.

There, I said it.

This means that idle time is a thing I need to manage, and I’m sitting at a computer where my web access is limited. Luckily, I can still write to you guys; but I do tend to read, a lot. And one of my favorites is Kitchenette‘s Behind Closed Ovens.

BCO, ans it’s referred to on the site is a weekly mailbag where restaurant customers and employees send in stories, well, about restaurants. Working there, eating there, and all the craziness that just happens when you’re out in the world.

This week you guys are in for a treat because for their final entry on the Kitchenette site they’re recapping The Best Restaurant Stories of 2015.

Hope you guys laugh as hard as I did. Also, it’s the recap, because BCO is moving over to Wonkette next week. So if you enjoy it, follow Behind Closed Ovens over there.

Let’s talk about UFC 193…

First of all, let me get this out of the way:

Above all else, kudos to Holly Holm. She laughed in the face of pressure. Smiled when virtually no one gave her a chance. Kept humble in front of the largest hype train in MMA history. And sent us home with our foot twisted at crazy angles, and inserted up to the heel in our mouths.

In front of a record crowd in Melbourne, Holm landed a kick that is still echoing through the world and KO’d Ronda Rousey to become the second UFC Bantamweight Champion. And it didn’t matter how many replays of Holm head kick KO’s were shown, I didn’t think it was possible. Because like everyone else, when you have a character as crazy as Rousey, you almost play dumb and forget that this is the same sport where Matt Serra knocked out Georges St-Pierre.

It was the perfect storm, man. There’s no other way to put it. There was no way you could soundly say that Holm was going to be the one to do it. I watched her previous fight, against an unranked Marion Reneau go to a Decision. I thought she looked good. I was also convinced that Rousey would annihilate her within a round on her best night. Holm had done nothing to make any of us think that she was a worthy contender. At best, we thought she would be an entertaining match up in a year or two.

But when the announcement was made that she would get the next crack at Rowdy, we scoffed. We bitched, moaned, and complained. I felt she was being fed to the monster. Little did we know that Holly Holm was the Jedi being dropped into the Rancor pit.

As we were watching UFC 193 on Saturday, a friend who walked in late said he was rooting for Holly Holm. He didn’t say he thought she would win. But he was the only one who said he was rooting for her. I asked him if he wanted to bet. He bet me to drink a cup of piss… then thought about it, and said if he lost. We laughed it off. But this is the type of situation it was. He was the first to say it openly, but the hype was getting to be too much. My girlfriend thought Rousey was being arrogant in her pre-fight interviews. Arrogance is a big word, because it’s still confidence until you fail. And how can you not be confident when you have a 100% success rate?

That’s the thing about overconfidence though; when you fail, you don’t fall, you crash and burn. And in the world of combat sports those who hyped you up will then tear you down in a fraction of the time. Rousey is in for a tough time, until the public eye goes onto the next thing. But the treatment she’s getting is testament to the impact she’s had on the world. This is some Pacquiao/Marquez level trolling. And it’s going to be curious to see how she handles it.

Think about it; this is exactly how the world would’ve treated Mike Tyson had the internet had been a thing in 1990. For the moment, Holly Holm is Buster Douglas. The biggest upset in the history of MMA, and definitely up there as one of the biggest upsets in sports. Holly Holm shocked the world, and brought us back to the reality that in a fight anything can happen. And that’s why I watch.

The important thing is that the praise for Holly overshadows all this bandwagon hate for Ronda. She was the big winner on Saturday night.

Knowing Where to Look: The (Mis)Information Super Highway

The Internet is the greatest invention in human history. I have no hesitation whatsoever in saying that. The human potential has grown exponentially because of it. The opportunities are limitless, the sky is no longer the limit because we are all connected, all the time. The World Wide Web has effectively shrunk the world. A message that would’ve taken days gets there in seconds. Yet somehow, as a culture, we are absolutely squandering the greatest resource the world has ever known. And there’s nothing worse than just having potential.

Let me make this clear, I’m not saying this about everyone. If the past year has proven anything, it’s that the vast majority of people have the most powerful knowledge building tools at their fingertips, yet they do absolutely nothing with them. Look at last night’s GOP debate, for example. Presidential candidates, who should be the best of the best spouting lies as fact, when a simple Google search and a half hour of reading would help them formulate proper, well informed opinions. Then again, they’re just fishing for votes.

But they were talking to specific groups of people. Pandering to the anti-vaccine minority and overly conservatives who require an authority figure to vindicate the lies they choose to believe and spread. I genuinely believe that ignorance has been justified by the internet. People know the information right there, sitting in their pocket. And as the Internet makes the world smaller, it’s also made the distance between that pocket and the mind that much wider. Ignorance has gone from not wanting to know, to thinking you know everything because you have an Internet connection.

Other than that, it’s just become another distraction. The greatest source of entertainment the world has ever seen. The Internet doesn’t sleep. It’s changing at all times. There will always be something new to click on that will keep your attention. You can’t say that about TV, radio, movies, or even books. Yeah, they make new ones every day. But from this screen, I can see all of those and then some. All you need is to know where to look.

Looking back on it’s relatively short life span, it’s amazing the impact having internet access has had. It’s really been a big thing for about fifteen years now, and it has taken over the world. He who controls information has all the power, especially when the information gets to where it needs to go at the speed of click, and it never stops.

When I was in the sixth grade we got a Dial-Up connection at my house. I had no clue what to do with it. But it didn’t take me long to figure out how powerful and dangerous this could be. An avid gamer who was up to his neck in Pokémon at that point, I chose to Google for tips for my favorite game. It did not go all that well. Actually, it was pretty horrible for a first try. I Google searched “Game Boy,” the hand-held Nintendo system in which we played. So yeah, I got porn. Lots of it. And not the type I would’ve enjoyed either.

Moral of the story: Never Google Search “Game Boy”… Unless you’re into that sort of thing.         [Photo:  Andrew _ B]

So while the learning curve was a bit steep for a sixth grader on the web for the very first time, we’re not in 1999 anymore. Dial-up is a thing of the past (thank Odin!). But now, in 2015, a year that was considered The Future in my childhood movies, I often find myself thinking about what my grade school years would’ve been if I had the resources I had now.

I recall having to call government agencies looking for information for Social Studies projects. They were never all that helpful. I can’t even imagine having to resist the temptation to just copy/paste right off of Wikipedia for a class project. Where’s that study of how plagiarism in middle-school have gone up exponentially in the past decade, huh!? I mean copy/pasting wasn’t even a thing until like my senior year in high school. And I swear, some teachers encouraged it as long as we handed something in. Literal busy work. And I would never, ever complain about it, because of how easy it was. Believe it or not, it’s even easier now.

Also, I would not like to be a teacher in this day and age. With every kid with a smart-phone on them cheating on tests has to be absolutely ridiculous. Good luck to those poor bastards, because I would’ve gotten away with it.

All in all, like with everything else, you have to take the good with the bad. And there’s plenty of bad on the World Wide Web. If you know where to look.

#FreeNickDiaz: How the NSAC Kills Careers Out of Spite.

(Chiko’s Note: Heads up guys. This is gonna be a rough one. I’m angry enough that it skipped ahead of actual homework. Full-on rant time.)

Dear Nevada State Athletic Commission:

THIS IS BULLSHIT.

Nick Diaz is many things. Outspoken, yes. Irreverent, yes. Arrogant, at times, sure. More than anything, he’s a total badass who fights because it’s the only thing he knows. His little brother Nate fights because it’s the only thing his brother could teach him to do.

But he’s definitely not a cheater. A pothead, maybe. And under the stone-age guidelines of the Nevada State Athletic Commission smoking marihuana is in the same category as taking anabolic steroids. Except in this case, it’s worse. Yes, you read that correctly.

At UFC 183 this past January, Diaz faced the man most fans claim to be the greatest fighter of all time, Anderson Silva. He lost by unanimous decision after fighting for five rounds. The fight was fun, if not a bit underwhelming by both their standards. Even though they fought for the full twenty-five minutes it never looked like more than a sparring match. At one point Diaz even got down on the floor, taunting The Spider, trying to get him to engage. It was one of the craziest moments in MMA history. This kid from Stockton had such an attitude that he would goad on the greatest fighter of all time. But it was to no avail. Silva won a unanimous decision in what seemed like an easy fight for him. He had returned to form after a gruesome leg injury. Each showed the other respect after the fight, they both got paid, and walked away. If only that was the end of it.

Around a week later we found out that both fighters failed drug tests surrounding their bout. Silva was popped for numerous anabolic steroids which are considered among both fighters and fans to be the worst of the worst when it comes to cheating in MMA. The squeaky clean image of The Spider was thrown into question for the first time, and to the shock of many. Silva had been an ambassador for cleaning up his sport and catching anyone who used  performance enhancing drugs. He maintained his innocence through several interviews and appearances.

On the other hand, the brash Diaz popped for marihuana metabolites for the third time in his career. This genuinely surprised very few. He’d done it twice before, in 2007 and again in 2012. He didn’t run to the first camera and proclaim his innocence. He didn’t have to. The world was so shocked about Anderson’s positive test that the Diaz news flew pretty much under the radar, and rightfully so. There’s no comparing taking anabolic fucking steroids to toking up so you can get a good night sleep. Especially in Nick’s case, he lives in Stockton, California. He has a medical marihuana card. It’s perfectly fucking legal.

You can sense how I’m losing my cool here. Because, again… THIS IS BULLSHIT.

Fast forward around eight months. Meetings have happened. Articles written. Discussions had. Most importantly, punishments have been served.

Anderson Silva, whom tested positive for more than one type of anabolic steroid, has been suspended for one year retroactive to their January 31 fight. He was fined, and he had his unanimous decision win overturned into a no contest. In the end, this means that on February 1, 2016, Anderson Silva will be able to step back into the Octagon and continue his storied career.

Meanwhile, on Monday, September 14 the Nevada State Athletic Commission handed down a five year suspension to Nick Diaz for a third positive test for marihuana metabolites. Five years, for weed. This is absolutely ridiculous. It’s a fucking travesty.

This is political ego on full display. The NSAC isn’t the law, they are simply a governing body for sports in the state of Nevada. Yet these pencil pushers seem to get off on the fact that they get to boss around and bully these larger than life fighters. The UFC has no say in any of this. Even UFC President Dana White, who is often as outspoken as Diaz himself took to Twitter to show how unfair the punishment is. Hell, basically every fighter under the sun has spoken out against this ridiculous abuse of power. In less than twenty-four hours a White House petition has been launched to overturn this bullshit decision, getting over 10,000 signatures thus far.

It’s up to us MMA fans to put our voice out there. We can’t let desk jockeys on a power trip like Pat Lundvall ruin MMA. This woman was actually asking for a lifetime ban. A lifetime ban, for pot! I can’t even wrap my head around that one. Even the rest of the Commission looked at her like she’d popped a pill too many. But the fact that she threw that option out there will make five years seem like a slap on the wrist to some. But no. Five years is ending Nick’s career. I mean, he’s almost left the sport a handful of times in the past. Five years is almost certainly the last nail in the coffin.

Of course they use the three-time offender shtick to  vindicate their decision which is still crazy since their new regulations put in place earlier this year have a maximum three year suspension for a third offense. Even more evidence that the NSAC is holding a grudge against Diaz. They threw the whole fucking bookshelf at him. His lawyers are planning to file for judicial review, which means we have a gleam of hope that this might get overturned.

“They suspended me for a third time. For five fucking years for something that makes the whole world a better place.”

I’m not saying Nick Diaz is a saint. I don’t even know the guy. He’s probably far from it. But man, it breaks my heart to see a blatant abuse of power this outrageous. And it’s not the first one. The NSAC does what it wants, obviously. Former UFC Light-Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones gets popped for cocaine within a month of UFC 183. Gets no punishment whatsoever. Spends a night in rehab. Out and about the next day.

Seems fair to the NSAC.

But yeah, lets end the career of the guy who packed a bowl. Because by gosh, that’s an unfair advantage.

These Commission asshats are stuffing their pockets with Mayweather money while ruining the lives of anyone who happens to fall under their tiny umbrella. This power trip needs to stop.

So, if you’re keeping score, smoking weed is worse than: anabolic steroids, cocaine, and beating women. Bra-fucking-vo Nevada State Athletic Commission.

For the record, I’ve got nothing against any of these other fighters (except for Mayweather, who’s asshole woman beating status is acknowledged world wide), I just can’t stand by and see these government douche-bags get away with throwing around these crazy punishments because a guy doesn’t play their game. If he had gone in there apologizing and giving excuses, odds are he would have gotten that three year suspension. And that’s still way too much.

“But in the end, I’m just upset I can’t be there for my brother right now since he’s gonna be fighting soon. It’s my bad he even got into this sport and he gets his face kicked in and they don’t even pay him.
I got us in this, and if I don’t make any money, I don’t have any way to get us out.”

We getcha, Nick. And I can’t speak for everyone, but I refuse to keep quiet on this one.

If you would like to reach out to the Nevada State Athletic Commission for yourself, you can e-mail them at boxing@boxing.nv.gov. I will be forwarding this article to them. And again, please go sign the online White House petition to lift this sanction.

#FreeNickDiaz

AcustiKeke – The Biento Sessions

Time for some shameless promotion!

If you are from the metro area in Puerto Rico, as I am, you should know that my good friend Pekeke is playing weekly acoustic shows at Biento (yes, with a B), on Piñero Ave.

So, yeah. Tonight is Sesh #3 at this new spot. Those that have made it the past few weeks can attest to how much of a blast we’re having.

First set starts around ten.

Spread the word. I’ll see you guys there.

Movies About Space, In Space… Perfection.

[Photo: NASA HQ Photo]

Gosh darn-it I’m really excited for The Martian. And apparently, I’m not the only one. Astronauts (yes, real astronauts) up in outer space (yes, the real outer space) are apparently pretty psyched too. Stating that they’re big fans of the book novel by Andy Weir up in the International Space Station, astronaut Kjell Lindgren and crewmate Scott Kelly are both looking forward to the film’s release on October 2, as they hope to get it beamed up (*giggles*) to them as soon as possible.

This great piece up on The Guardian also details Kjell and Scott’s year long stay aboard the International Space Station. They give their thoughts on how what they’ve experienced compares to the mission to Mars that Matt Damon is set to go through in one of the most eagerly anticipated space flicks of the year. I say one of, because, ya know, there’s that other, slightly more fictitious space flick coming out this year.

Either way, keep an eye out for this one, guys. Seems like it should be a blast.

Goddammit I love space.

Right On Target: Colbert vs. The (Network) World.

[Photo: Ryan Carver]

In October 2005, a show premiered on Comedy Central that I never expected to survive. It was the strangest sort of spin-off show, because it was a comedy news show that split from another, bigger comedy news show. Unlikely as it seems in hindsight, we needed both of them all along. They fed off each other. The next ten years were nothing short of revolutionary.

I’m not sure why I’m playing coy. I mean, you read the headline (I hope?). Stephen Colbert has come a helluva long way from being Jon Stewart’s sidekick; a role I’m not sure he ever really accepted. As soon as The Colbert Report premiered, right after The Daily Show every night, they hit the ground sprinting. The world never stood a chance.

But tonight he takes a much bigger challenge. Even though I don’t think he was ever really in Stewart’s shadow (they were pretty much the Yin to the others Yang from the get-go), Colbert’s new roll on The Late Show is definitely his biggest challenge to date. He’s stepping into the twenty-two year old shoes of the now legendary David Letterman.

[Photo: Broadway Tour]

But that’s not what I’m looking forward to. While I’m sure that he’ll have plenty of fun during the remainder of 2015, election year is about to kick off. What a better time to give Stephen Colbert the biggest platform of his career?

Political pundits are probably shaking in their million dollar suits at the thought of it. You could put a Stephen Colbert / Donald Trump interview on Pay Per View, and I promise we would totally pay for it stream it illegally.

But really, you can tell from his (wonderful) interview with the New York Times that he’s excited to say the least. A reinvigorated, passionate Colbert is a dangerous beast. Put a microphone (and a good writing team) behind him and watch the magic happen.

I’m sure the show won’t be all politics, but at the same time it would genuinely surprise me if it they totally ignored his comedy news roots. Sure he won’t be playing over the top conservative Stephen. I’m sure he’s eager to reclaim his own voice. All I know is that I can’t wait.

A Face-Full of Jerry: Tips on how to make your pint of ice cream last more than a day.

I believe this is from Day 4.

So, recently I stopped at a supermarket to kill a craving I’ve carried around for what feels like forever. I had to have a pint of my absolute favorite ice cream; Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia… Problem is, I always down the whole damn thing in less than two days, and then I hate myself for the rest of the week. I’ll cry the next night when I open the freezer and realize how much I miss it.
But I think I’ve found the solution. How to stretch the lifespan of my one pint for (hopefully) a whole week. It just takes some willpower and a probable brain freeze.

First of all, don’t eat ice cream sitting down. It’s important. This isn’t a meal, it’s a snack. Probably of the midnight variety. So yeah, stand up you lazy bastard and eat your delicious, slightly pink cream upright.

But really. If you sit down you’ll probably down half the pint all at once. Trust me.

Secondly, eat your ice cream in the kitchen, preferably right next to the freezer. This is pivotal to the next step in our ice cream saving scheme. Also, try not to use the biggest spoon you own.

Now, here comes the important part. When eating, take a gigantic spoonful, make sure you get a nice chocolate chunk along with a cherry. One of everything in there. This will be your last one before you send Mr. Garcia back to the freezer for the night. Keep the lid handy, because as soon as that spoon goes in your mouth you are closing up.

Make sure you savor that mouth-full. Put the pint back in the freezer. Wash the spoon.

If done properly, you should be out of the kitchen before you’re done chewing that chocolate chunk. By the time you’re back in your room you’ll still feel like you’re eating ice cream. Your teeth should be getting back to regular temperature as you finish up that cherry.

I’ll report back later with how long the pint lasts, but I like my chances.

*Important Note*

This has absolutely nothing to do with being healthy. When my midnight snacks go from the glory of Ben & Jerry’s to frown inducing generic Costco yogurt I get very, very sad. It’s the type of deal that’ll totally put me in a shit mood the next day. Any health benefits gained from using this method are totally accidental and I want zero credit for it.